Hey all!! I hope you guys are doing great. It has been a while since I updated my blog and I have decided to stop updating it. I couldn't find the time to update it. Held up with so many things. I couldn't imagine how much pressure and works are on me. They sure look little but there's a whole lot of things to be done. Well, I gotta say goodbye to this blog. So many bitter sweet memories here shared amongst the people around me. I'm gonna end the last chapter of this blog in a sweet, sweet, sweetest way..

Looking at the posts about the sweetest people I have ever met in Nanyang Polytechnic, my ups and downs in relationships, how I was a play girl after a bitter break up just to find the perfect boyfriend that I needed.. And I have found him. Close to four months and counting.. And a new chapter begins here. I'm grateful for him to be right here with me. All the qualities that I needed in a man is in him. God is fair. No repeated mistakes for me. Nothing is going to bring us down. This is one precious gem that I cannot let go. It's very hard for me to find a guy like him in this era. I thank God for this.

And it's going to be a new year in a day's time. And it's goodbye 2009, hello 2010! It will be a bitter sweet moment for my very dearest girlfriends and boyfriends in NYP. Most of us are going to graduate in a few months' time. I do feel sad. We have been together for three years. Some, since the primary or secondary school days. Our friendship grows stronger each day and we take care of each other. We laugh and cry together. Oh, those sweet memories can never be compared to anything else. Not even a box of chocolates.. Deep in my heart, I love you guys till the end no matter what.. I thank you guys for being a part of my wonderful life. You guys have taught me so many things that I couldn't imagine I could do(you guys know that I'm always blur! Hehe..). You guys coloured my world with myriad of bright colours and it's one of the masterpieces that I will always remember till the end. I hope I coloured your world with bright colours too. =) I'm lucky to have you guys around me.

And with this last note, I wanna wish all of us all the best for this final lap and I love each and every one of you, all of you who have been with me, all the way from the day I was born up to this present day, haha!

Hugs and Kisses,

Shahirah aka Irah aka Shera

After so long.. Finally I'm back here. Hehe.. Was busy with my performances and other things. Just got back from Tanjong Balai, Karimun. Reached Singapore at 2pm. Very tiring.

But.. Somebody fetched me. Hee.. Well, I just want to say thank you for the time that we had since Ramadan.. I owe this person a lot. Don't know what to do or how to pay you back. Haha.. I will find ways to do that.. =)

Hmm.. I will blog again soon.. I'm really wearing out already. Stay tuned for the next update.

ps. I'm so happy ever since that day. =) I really miss you every time you're not around. LOL..

I guessed I just solved a mystery in my life. So many secrets revolved around me. So many unforseen things that keep on coming to me. I'm too nice to people. Even if they break my heart so many times, they cheat my feelings, they played me out, I would still forgive them. Even the most cruel thing that they did to me, I will still forgive them. I know some of you will be angry with me for being too nice to these kind of people. But they deserve the chance. They do. They want to change but they don't learn from their mistakes. It takes time for them to turn over a new leaf.

I'm happy to see other people happy. And I don't like to see relationships breaking down because of a third party. I was blinded by that. I just want to apologise to someone. I should have listened to my instincts telling me not to develop feelings for him. The feelings did fade. And I'm glad that nothing happened. I'm very thankful to Him from above. I thank Him so much for protecting me. I could cry thinking about how He protected me from all the negative things that are bound to happen if I hadn't follow my instincts. Allah, thank You so much for showing me the right path. Thank You so much.

I know I gotta share this info with you people out there who wanna groom themselves. Haha!! Some people may find it personal but I don't give a fuck about it. =P

I went to Fabulous Tan yesterday at Bugis. If a person goes there, he/she either go there for a tanning session, waxing session or teeth whitening session. I went there for a waxing session. =D Brazilian waxing. I know, I know.. Sounds saucy.. Oh crap.. Well, the experience was unforgettable, not because of the ambience of the place but it's because of what I went through.

I was given a towel and went to the washroom to rinse myself before the session started. The room was painted black and there was a bed for me to lay on. I saw the hot wax in the designated processing device. I laid on the bed while young staff took off the towel and directed me to set my legs slightly apart. First, she put powder on the area. Then she put the hot wax. There are 2 types of wax that she used for specific areas. The 'mild' wax was used with a paper I think. The first time she pulled the paper, it was quite painful but still bearable. The worse part was the inner part of the area. She used hard wax. The hard wax doesn't need the paper. She waxed the left part first. The moment the hard wax was 'ripped' off, I see stars. From the position that my legs were supposed to be, I folded my legs up. LOL!! It's damn painful ok!!! Moreover I waxed the most sensitive area of my body. Just bear with the pain. Haha.. I thought I was done after a few strips of wax. Then she asked me to turn to my back. I was like, "Huh?" LOL.. She waxed my butt. This part was funny. You know your butt is quite sensitive to touch. What more just a tap on it! I was giggling all the way when she tried to dry up the hard wax. It's very ticklish! I can't control it. I tried to relax my butt muscles but I think I failed that. Hahaha.. After half an hour, I was done and on the go.


It was my first time doing that. I have been wanting to wax for a long time but I didn't have enough money. I only paid 35 bucks for it. Worth the pain, time and money. Hehe.. Once you're done with Brazilian waxing, you cannot swim for like 2-3 days. Brazilian waxing, anyone? =P

Today, I had a late night chat with Hendra. I haven't been meeting him for a while. I'm thankful that someone kicked some sense in me about trying not to cry about my past. It's a wake up call. He shared so many things about the difference in what a boy and a man are thinking in their heads. Something that I will instill in me. I have to open my eyes wider to see the reality which I don't. I become more analytical about the people who are interested in me. There are good and bad points to this. But at least I'm using my head to think and see for myself who deserves to be with me.

To Mohd Helmy Buhary.. It's been a month or so since we talked. And every passing day, my feelings grow for you.. I love you so much. So so much.. I regret about what had happened before. And I did promise you that I won't do that anymore because I love you. And I will never stop saying that. And I can't wait to meet you. You are a guy who has a lot of patience in me and I'm thankful for that. I owe you, baby.. =))))))))))

I don't know what I was doing. I just let go someone who loves me. I'm just too confused. Too rushed. Too desperate to have someone to love me. But when that happened, I got lost. My heart just went blank. I feel so guilty. Guilty as ever. I shouldn't have let him go when he is so in love with me. I don't want to make any mistakes. But I just did that. Did I just lose the love of my life? God, help me.. I'm so weak.. Help me get back on track.. Please..