I'm just too sad to death. How I wish I could turn back the time and just listen to him teasing me without being sensitive about it. Baby.. I asked you before whether you will regret being with me or not. And you said no.. But now, I think you do..

To text or not to text.. I'm just so guilty. I'm repeating my mistake over and over again. I have no tears left. I can't cry. It's my heart that's crying. Hoping that you will still call me syg, dear, baby.. If you are reading this, I just want to say that I love you so much. So so much. I'm disappointed of myself too. It's only me who can change me. And I need time. It's only been a week. Give me time to show you who I really am.

I will do anything to hold on to the relationship. I have failed too many times. Please forgive me. I know I'm in the wrong. I beckon you to give me another chance.. I love you baby.. Muackz37..

I'm in my lab now.. Just taking a break from my work. Oh gosh.. Android is interesting but it sucks because I don't have the code for the project!! @$%#@#$!!! And my stomach's growling.. -_-" Waiting for lunch time.. Freaking LONG..

Anyway, I will be meeting my boyfriend later after school.. I can't wait! Haha.. Miss him too much even if it's only day 4. Hey.. Honeymoon period mah.. Must cherish it. LOL!! And to my circle of friends who knew the both of us, just wanna say that don't get too hyped up.. Kinda scary when you guys have the tendency to gush at new couples. Haha.. Yes.. I'm attached to Firwan. Let's just keep this on the low alright. The boyfriend who can sing very well. Better than me ok!! No attention needed la.. Just want to keep things as simple as possible. K go!

For all the well-wishers, thank you so much for giving me the thumbs ups ya. Bebual macam nak amik award sia.. HAHA!! But seriously, thanks a lot for all the wishes.. Its an interesting relationship that I'm walking through now.. Just hope for the best for the both of us. =)

I'm so lucky to have friends like you guys!!! Love you!! Love you!! Love you!! Haha!! Muackz!!

ps. To my baby.. I love you from the bottom of my heart.. I will cherish you like a precious gem.. Muackz37..

Well peeps.. Im nt up for grabs animore.. Hehe.. (",) It happened last nite.. On the phone.. LOL.. Decided to be in a relationship wit sum1 whom i knew 4 awhile.. Yes it's a risky ting dat im doin nw. Bt our motive is simple, be in a relationship den gt 2 know each other.. Crazy? Well.. Den wat abt ppl who get married b4 they know each other.. Yea, i know, its diff.. Bt d process is d same.. Who knows, i cn last long wit him using dis method.. Hmm.. Im hoping 4 dat. =P

All i wan is evry1 ard me 2 b happy 4 me.. Anw, he's my fren's fren. So be cool yea.. Haha.. So mayb today i will meet Mr. Boyfriend.. 4 d 1st time. Yeap, 1st time. And u guys shud hear him sing 1 dae.. He's my Brian Mcknight. Haha.. Superb vocals. Like Chris Brown and Rihanna. LOL!! Juz dat he's nt d violent kind. Wan me 2 prove it 2 u? LOL.. U guys will noe him sooner or later.. Well, i cn only update till here.. I nid 2 do my project alr. Haha.. Toodles!!

ps. Let's make dis happen.. =P I believe in u dear firwan..

Angel gave me a quiz to see what i'm really about. God damn they are true. Check it out. The last part is fucking true. That's me. But i still deny the fact. Hmm.. Changes to be made asap!!

Your view on yourself: You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love: Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you: You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success: You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

You know, people say dat if sum1 realli loves you, he or she will always get back to you no matter what. Wonder if it will happened to me.. Haha.. NOT!! Sum1 has to tell me what love is again. I totally forget what love means. Seriously. Dat is why im searching for sum1 who can show me what love is and be my companion. I have had enough of dating people out. I dont mind making friends though. But i lost track about love. Of all things, LOVE. Gosh.. Paranoia doesn't get in my way. Its just a wake up call. I dun even feel panic. At least i know it takes time to know what love is. Sumtin dat we will grow old with.

I just need sum1.. Dat 1 person to remind me what love is.. But i dunno who.. Sum1 out there. Maybe i have met the person or maybe i hvnt do so. He is still lingering out there. Just hopin dat he will come asap. =)

Went to watch My BloodyValentine after sch wit Hosni.. LOL.. D movie was crap. Vague. Not gore enuf 4 me. But some parts of d movie freaked me out! LOL. I was screamin in d theatre! Gdness. D part wher d bad guy throw d pick-axe towards d audience.. God dat was d worst!!!! Bt i like d thrill of it!!

After dat, went 2 Fish & Co near Park Mall 2 hv my late dinner wit him. Had seafood platter for 2. Super nice!!! Haha!! Den i tried tequila sunrise n he had lychee martini n Tiger beer. D tequila sunrise tasted bitter sweet. Realli nice! D lychee martini was also nice bt it realli taste super bitter. But its also sweet. Took a cab home after d dinner 2 meet his buddy, munky. Den he walked me home. Aww.. So sweet.. Wat a good companion i hv. LOL!!

I will update d photos soon!! Stay tuned!!!

Days passed by me juz like dat. Notin special after d outing wit d girls.. Hd a whirlwind relationship with several guys bt stil end up being juz me alone. Deprived of love. Love? Does it even exists in me? Coz i cnt define love. Do any of u noe? Haiz.. I get paranoid easily. I gt stressed easily. Gosh.. Hu wud want me? Im still struggling 2 deal wit tings. Especially my emotions. Its gets d better of me. Its juz so wrong.. I let my emotions overcome me. And wen im calm afterwards, regret overshadows me. Until wen will i b like dis? So sick n tired of it. So exhausted.

S.O.S.. I nid my close frens 2 b ard me 2 motivate me. Bt i cnt seem 2 call out 2 them. The stubbornness in me in holding me back frm getting help frm my frens. The war is btw me, myself. I noe i cn do it. I hv 2 do it. Its 4 my own good. N then evry1 will b pleased wit me.