It has been 6 weeks of FYP. NOTHING IS PROGRESSING. And I miss Firwan a lot.. OMG!! Somebody tell me what to do!! Argh!!! Haiz.. Don't know, don't care, don't bother.. Say it again. Goodness.. Anugerah's coming up. This is my chance to shine. I'm taking this seriously. I want to achieve my goal. I don't care what people want to say anymore. This is what I'm born to do. No one's going to prevent me from joining it. I am going to make it happen.

OH MY GOD.. The pain is unbearable. I just had my period yesterday. And the cramps that I'm experiencing now is like shit!!! I feel like rolling on the ground at the corridor outside my lab. I can't think straight either. All thanks to the period cramps. Najib will be fetching me after school.. Oh thank God he existed. Haha.. He's gonna hear me whining about today till he goes deaf at one ear. LOL!! Damn Mother Fucker Supervisor!!! Argh!!! If I have a samurai sword with me, I would have beheaded you just now!! No words of encouragement. Just pure Demoralizing words. FUCK OFF!!! AT LEAST I TRIED!!! Haiz.. Forget about it. I don't want to see his FUCKING face. It will only spoil my day. Enough of whining about this Mother Fucker.

I miss that one person so much.. My love for him is still going strong despite me being distracted by other guys. They are not Firwan. Firwan is Firwan. No one can replace him in my heart. Well, I just finished writing a song called All I'm Askin' For. Haven't got an idea for the rhythm. Just wanna share with you guys about my feelings and endurance that I have to go through and it's in this song. I'm writing a few more soon. Gonna add into my collection. Haven't been writing for so long. I would say that this is one of the best songs I have written about my life.

So Baby, I just wanna say I love you so much. Deep in my heart, I wish that you could give me the chance. I pray to God day and night so that you would open your heart to me again. :-(

All I’m askin for

Did you know baby,
That when you left me,
I ain’t ready to set you free,
Coz I thought we were going steadfastly,
And it’s only been a week, can’t you see?

I know I made mistakes,
I’ll do whatever it takes,
To get you back again,
Know I gotta go tru the pain.

Baby all I’m askin for,
Is to give that chance once more,
And I’ll wait for you at the door,
That’s all I’m askin for.

I remember that your words were just brief,
I just cried in disbelief,
I didn’t see it comin’,
Boy you know that I was strugglin’.

I’ve been crying all night,
Missed the good night,
Sleep tight, Sweet dreams,
That we always say before we sleep.

Baby all I’m askin for,
Is to give that chance once more,
And I’ll wait for you at the door,
That’s all I’m askin for.

I still feel the last hug you give,
The last kiss you give,
The last gaze you give,
Before you left me in grief.

It has been three days since I have been single. When you just stepped into singlehood again, you will still miss your ex. Correct? Hmm.. Now, I want to forget about him. But the feeling is there.. Bet he already forgot about me.. Haiz.. Why can't you compromise?? I'm loving you so much but then.. Haiz.. No use saying all that now.. I will just let him fly..

Well, since the person doesn't want to communicate with me through anything, then this is the last resort. Express everything on my blog. So don't get offended. No need to be so fucked up about it. No hard feelings yaw..

I don't know if I'm single or not.. No answers. Just silence. A cold war between two parties. Sick of playing hide and seek. People, what should I do? The person is not worth my love and tears huh? Can't decide. My heart's confused. Cupid struck the wrong person. Never thought that he would be like this. No chance. Just don't understand. Compromise. That's the word. I think it doesn't exist in him. Pleaded to him but to no avail. Useless. Tears and energy wasted just for him but he won't come back. What to do? Sometimes, people do not realise how many chances I have given them but they won't give the chance to me. Why uh? Am I too saint? That people can just step on my head and leave? God knows I'm changing to a better person. Realized my mistake. Let me repeat this again.. I REALIZED MY MISTAKE. Concious. That's what I have to instill myself with. It's alright. What goes around comes around baby. LOL.. I have a good feeling about this.

Maybe I will get a guy I deserve to get in the future. *fingers crossed* A short, ugly, fat, unfaithful, won't give chance, can't compromise person. Well, it's actually the reciprocal of what I need from a guy.

ps.I love her. The one & only her. Yes. It's Her. (What are you guys thinking huh? I'm gay? LOL!!)