I fell in love with this song when I first heard it. It says so much about my previous relationship. Read the lyrics. It just hit all the right spots.

I woke up at 1.28pm today. I had the nicest sleep ever. Finally. Didn't do much today. Went to my granny's place and supper at Jalan Masjid. Had cream of mushroom with a slice of garlic bread. Very filling but after a while, I got hungry again. LOL.. Met Chirul's parents there. His mum rocks!!! Haha.. I love his mum. =D I met her during my Anugerah training. Very outgoing person. Love her to bits.

Love is in the air for me. I thank Him for sending him to me. I can totally forget about Chris Brown. I don't know how he did it but it just happened!! Thank you so much b.. I hope that I can be with you. =))))

ps. I'm just thinking about you. Just you. I'm happy that you came into my life. You are my saviour.. Love you.. Muackz..

I was early today. Thank God. Hahaha!! Today, I wore something different. My Ed Hardy tee, and my checkered mini skirt with solid black hose. And I wore my favourite converse sneakers, my bangles and my Nike backpack. LOL!! Today, I felt like a rock star. Woo!! Cool or what?!

Actually, I felt more like a British kid. Just that I don;t have piercings on my face. Would love to have it on my brow and my lips. Hehe.. I think my mum will be slapping my face if I have those!! Temptation baby.. LOL.. Felt like a long day. You know, the walking distance from Creative and Jurong East MRT station is a 5 minutes walk. But today, it felt like 20 minutes. God damn it!!! It felt like ages just to reach the station!!!

Luckily, I got a seat for myself in the train. Went all the way to Tampines 1 just to buy J.CO donuts. Hehe!! Freaking nice people!!! I support them!! Hahah!! Box of 3 filled with Blueberry donut, Glazzy and Miss Green T. I was amazed at the amount of donuts they have when I wanted to buy it. There were only less than 10 donuts placed on the glass trays. And my Alcapone is not available. East side people really love their food uh.. Haha..

I haven't been eating junk food like Old Chang Kee for months. So I decided to buy Squid Head onStik and Ngoh Hiang. One word to describe it: Heaven. LOL.. It's indulging but I don't like to eat it often. =P

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Every night, I can't wait to go home and switch on my lappy. Hehe.. This is my reason: Helmy.

You guys don't know him yet. Maybe when we are getting more serious, then I will let you guys meet him ya. =))) Well, what can I say.. It's like Godsend. He made my feelings fade for Chris Brown. You guys know how hard it is for me to forget him. Then from nowhere, Helmy just appeared and every night, he just make me smile. I really miss that feeling. Well, my mum was ok about him. I'm very happy about that. Seriously. Usually, she will say, " You want to meet this person?!" Then she will give me that why-of all-guys-him?! face expression. This time, she's super relaxed. LOL.. B, it's a good sign. =)))))))))))))))))))))))

Hmm.. There are sparks obviously. Hehe.. I don't know when I will get to hear him. Hopefully soon. =D

I got to go now. Sleepy already. Haha.. Update soon!! =))

I just realized that this is my 100th post! Haha.. Maybe I will write about something special. Hmm.. Let me see.. Nothing seems to hit the special key. Except for getting to know that I do have fans. HAHA.. I find it awkward but I appreciate it people!!! =D

Ok, here goes today's story. On Sunday, I had work at Chai Chee. While I was taking care of the karaoke console, there was this malay aunt and her daughter who wanted to take photos with me. Of course I was delighted!! Hehe.. After the engagement ceremony, my uncle came up to my mum and told her something. I was helping out with the packing so I don't know what they were talking about at first. Then I went towards my mum. You guys will not believe what my mum told me. She said that the aunt wanted to match make me with her son!!! OMG!!! My jaw just dropped. I was so shocked. The aunt actually went up to my uncle to ask if I'm still available or not. Then my uncle told her to ask me personally. But she didn't. Thank goodness. I don't want to be match made!! I want to find my own soulmate!!! Haha.. Well, about finding my own, this will lead to another story..

A lot of you know that I used to go dating a lot. And most of the guys that I knew end up becoming my friends. I just can't find the right person who has the same 'frequency' as me. This time, maybe I found the person with the same frequency. Hehe.. I wanted to get to know more about you.. And I'm serious.. =) I'm just hoping that he can help me fade my feelings towards that someone away.. Takes time but I have a feeling that it's worth the try.. Wee.. I'm happy!!!! =))))))))))

I will update soon ya.. Can't wait for FRIDAY!!!!!!! Meeting up with my NYP nehs!!! I miss you guys so much!!!!!!!!!! XD I have so many stories to share with you!! Well, goodnight world.. Imma sleep underneath a blanket of stars.. =))))))

It's 2.14am on my watch. For the past few days, I have been feeling so down. It has got nothing to do with me getting eliminated from the competition. I just realised that people are drifting away from me. Ok, maybe it's just me keeping a distance from everyone.

It's just so hard to explain. I feel like crying out loud but who wants to listen to my cries. Frankly speaking, I still can't forget someone. Every night, my mind keeps on playing all the sweet memories that I had with Chris Brown. Only some will know who I am refering to. I didn't ask for all that. I mean, I didn't ask my mind to recall all those memories back. If possible, I want to forget about him.. It's just so hard for me to move on. I know he has. It's obvious. He's happy and I'm not. I know it's so stupid of me to yearn for him still. He left me when I needed him.

Every night I cry. What a foolish bitch to cry over this. But still, I just can't move on. I love him too much. I tried to fall for other guys but it's of no use. Why can't I move on easily like the rest of the people do? I'm sick and tired of breaking down everyday.

Life has been a struggle for me because there are so many things going on all at once. From the competition to the people around me to my attachment.. I would say that my life is indeed in a huge mess. I got more and more confused by day. I dunno what I was trying to do to myself for the past few weeks.

But first, I would like to thank all my supporters, especially my family and family friends. I love you guys to bits. Thank you for the posters and banners, mama and Uncle Lan. To my friends, from the closest to the hi-bye friends, thank you for voting for me. HAHAHA!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS NO MATTER WHAT! And I'm still the same old Shahirah that you guys know!! I'm always down to earth and belo. LOL!! =D

I was eliminated from Anugerah yesterday. I was sad. But after a while, I thought, it's good. Then I can focus more on my attachment programme and get more money. Haha.. I won't forget about singing. I can sing but I can't seem to move on the stage at all. Like a log singing on stage. I need guidance. Loads of it.

Fought with an idiot. Big time. The idiot just crossed the line. I let everything out. It felt good and I don't feel any remorse whatsoever. 12 weeks of stress all coming from the idiot even if he gave me a chuck of notes for the project. So what? Thought that all the stress was for me to learn how to manage stress. Don't fuck about it. Giving negative remarks will help students to learn how to manage stress huh? That's BULLSHIT YOU IDIOT! And still have the fucking guts to say that I got the CD filled with the AES right at the beginning of FYP. FUCK OFF IDIOT! The idiot didn't give me the CD but gave me the report of the previous student only. And the idiot insisted that I got the CD in front of my dad. That was the last straw. I just blew up and shouted at the idiot. I really felt like punching his fucking face. His malicious smile that he gave me. Luckily my dad controlled me.

I'm not the kind of person you want to mess with. I have been silent for 12 weeks even if he demoralised me for my work. He doesn't care what he says to people. He doesn't care if he hurts other people's feelings. But that day, I couldn't contain my anger. He felt like he didn't do anything wrong. Only after awhile when I shouted at him repeatedly about not getting the CD, then he said that maybe it's his fault for not giving me the CD to do the AES. What kind of BULLSHIT is that? And he gave the most idiotic reason for not replying to my messages or calls. He said that his phone has problems. Only on the following day, then he realised that the message wasn't sent. What kind of BULLSHIT is that? He could have at least called after knowing the problem if he wanted me to do well for the project. But he didn't. He just shut up. People, You can see how idiotic this person is. God knows what happened through out. He will be the judge. Enough of that. It's done already. Hah. Don't want to see that face again.

I miss my girlfriends a lot. To the secondary school Girlfriends, I'm so so sorry for not turning up last Friday. Gosh.. Can we have another one soon?? PLEASE!! =) To my NYP NEH NEHS, CAN WE GO TO SENTOSA SOON!!!! I NEED A TAN!!! LOL!! TELL ME WHEN YOU GUYS ARE FREE YA!! Hahaha.. Maybe we can arrange since all of us are busy with work. =D

I got to go. I will update soon!! Stay tuned!!