Life has been a struggle for me because there are so many things going on all at once. From the competition to the people around me to my attachment.. I would say that my life is indeed in a huge mess. I got more and more confused by day. I dunno what I was trying to do to myself for the past few weeks.

But first, I would like to thank all my supporters, especially my family and family friends. I love you guys to bits. Thank you for the posters and banners, mama and Uncle Lan. To my friends, from the closest to the hi-bye friends, thank you for voting for me. HAHAHA!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS NO MATTER WHAT! And I'm still the same old Shahirah that you guys know!! I'm always down to earth and belo. LOL!! =D

I was eliminated from Anugerah yesterday. I was sad. But after a while, I thought, it's good. Then I can focus more on my attachment programme and get more money. Haha.. I won't forget about singing. I can sing but I can't seem to move on the stage at all. Like a log singing on stage. I need guidance. Loads of it.

Fought with an idiot. Big time. The idiot just crossed the line. I let everything out. It felt good and I don't feel any remorse whatsoever. 12 weeks of stress all coming from the idiot even if he gave me a chuck of notes for the project. So what? Thought that all the stress was for me to learn how to manage stress. Don't fuck about it. Giving negative remarks will help students to learn how to manage stress huh? That's BULLSHIT YOU IDIOT! And still have the fucking guts to say that I got the CD filled with the AES right at the beginning of FYP. FUCK OFF IDIOT! The idiot didn't give me the CD but gave me the report of the previous student only. And the idiot insisted that I got the CD in front of my dad. That was the last straw. I just blew up and shouted at the idiot. I really felt like punching his fucking face. His malicious smile that he gave me. Luckily my dad controlled me.

I'm not the kind of person you want to mess with. I have been silent for 12 weeks even if he demoralised me for my work. He doesn't care what he says to people. He doesn't care if he hurts other people's feelings. But that day, I couldn't contain my anger. He felt like he didn't do anything wrong. Only after awhile when I shouted at him repeatedly about not getting the CD, then he said that maybe it's his fault for not giving me the CD to do the AES. What kind of BULLSHIT is that? And he gave the most idiotic reason for not replying to my messages or calls. He said that his phone has problems. Only on the following day, then he realised that the message wasn't sent. What kind of BULLSHIT is that? He could have at least called after knowing the problem if he wanted me to do well for the project. But he didn't. He just shut up. People, You can see how idiotic this person is. God knows what happened through out. He will be the judge. Enough of that. It's done already. Hah. Don't want to see that face again.

I miss my girlfriends a lot. To the secondary school Girlfriends, I'm so so sorry for not turning up last Friday. Gosh.. Can we have another one soon?? PLEASE!! =) To my NYP NEH NEHS, CAN WE GO TO SENTOSA SOON!!!! I NEED A TAN!!! LOL!! TELL ME WHEN YOU GUYS ARE FREE YA!! Hahaha.. Maybe we can arrange since all of us are busy with work. =D

I got to go. I will update soon!! Stay tuned!!